BEAR ENSLAVEMENT OF WARWICK CASTLE
Warwick Castle, located in the Midlands of England was a fortress originally built by William the Conquerer, then expanded on in blah, blah, blah....
Look, none of that matters. What matters is THIS:
The coat of arms of Warwick Castle is a, enslaved bear, in chains, tied to a tree. Ridiculous but true. You see it all over the castle.
Furniture:
Plaques:
There is even a tower there named Bear Tower, no doubt where bears were flogged just for wanting those bear necessities they keep singing about. So why? Why does Warwick Castle promote this image of foolhardiness? Well, it is difficult to say due to the long history we are dealing with. The most famous ruler of the castle was Richard Neville, 16th Earl of Warwick (nicknamed the 'Kingmaker") who fought for the House of Lancaster during the War of the Roses. I suspect, and as a student of history I'm never wrong on these things, that ol' Dick Neville wanted to advertise his power and battle prowess as greater than it actually was, and spread the image of a bear in chains as proof that he was mightier than a bear. I know, it's stupid and ridiculous, but you have to understand this was the 15th century, and people during those times were very stupid. No one even knew how to drive a car, an activity that can be performed by Nicholas Cage (presumably). So Neville spread this image everywhere:
Bears as servants:
Bears even being shown as weak enough to be controlled by babies of Neville:
Yes, I know what you are thinking. How could bears stand for this? Well, they didn't. As I was leaving the castle in disgust, I heard screams, looked back for one glorious photos and ran myself, knowing that bears never forget, never forgive, and justice had been served:
