BEAR ENSLAVEMENT OF WARWICK CASTLE
Warwick Castle, located in the Midlands of England was a fortress originally built by William the Conquerer, then expanded on in blah, blah, blah....
Look, none of that matters. What matters is THIS:
The coat of arms of Warwick Castle is a, enslaved bear, in chains, tied to a tree. Ridiculous but true. You see it all over the castle.
Furniture:
Plaques:
There is even a tower there named Bear Tower, no doubt where bears were flogged just for wanting those bear necessities they keep singing about. So why? Why does Warwick Castle promote this image of foolhardiness? Well, it is difficult to say due to the long history we are dealing with. The most famous ruler of the castle was Richard Neville, 16th Earl of Warwick (nicknamed the 'Kingmaker") who fought for the House of Lancaster during the War of the Roses. I suspect, and as a student of history I'm never wrong on these things, that ol' Dick Neville wanted to advertise his power and battle prowess as greater than it actually was, and spread the image of a bear in chains as proof that he was mightier than a bear. I know, it's stupid and ridiculous, but you have to understand this was the 15th century, and people during those times were very stupid. No one even knew how to drive a car, an activity that can be performed by Nicholas Cage (presumably). So Neville spread this image everywhere:
Bears as servants:
Bears even being shown as weak enough to be controlled by babies of Neville:
Yes, I know what you are thinking. How could bears stand for this? Well, they didn't. As I was leaving the castle in disgust, I heard screams, looked back for one glorious photos and ran myself, knowing that bears never forget, never forgive, and justice had been served:
Here's a couple of points you might have overlooked, Bill. Firstly, the earl of Warwick you are talking about was not in his lifetime nicknamed 'the kingmaker', fought for the house of Lancaster in a single battle at the end of his life and didn't originate the bear and ragged staff badge you're so concerned about. That was a Beauchamp badge (Warwick's father-in-law) and, along with the title, which he had in right of his wife, the Countess of Warwick, he adopted the badge. 15th century people weren't 'stupid' just different. I'm sorry the bear image upsets you, but your claim to be a 'student of history' who gets such fundamentals wrong upsets me. If you want to make a point about images of cruelty to bears, have the courtesy (and intellectual integrity) to get your facts straight.
ReplyDeleteWhimsy? Satire? Jocularity? Parody?
ReplyDeleteHey Ragged Staff, lighten the up and pull that which is your blogspot name out of thine anus.
BEAR LOVER'S SITE 4 LYFE!11!!11!
Good lord, people descend into insult quite quickly around here, in the name of what? Jocularity? Bill got some stuff wrong in the interests of making a point, which weakens his argument considerably. He (and presumably you, Irish name) defend bears who have no voice of their own, and I defend some dead people who similarly have no voice And I do it without insults and without suggesting anyone has anything up their arse. (But that may be because I'm an adult.)
ReplyDeleteAh dear, I'm sorry to have upset you Ragged Staff. Few things though, never said he was nicknamed the kingmaker during his lifetime, just that he is nicknamed the kingmaker, which he is. Secondly, I did preface it all with "I suspect" blah blah blah, so I was not presenting all as fact. Thirdly, I was hoping by the final poorly doctored photo anyone reading this would have assumed that this post, well actually this entire website, is a joke. I don't think people from the 15th century are stupid because they can't drive cars, cars weren't invented yet. It would be silly to come to that conclusion. The bear image does not actually upset me, there's obviously no animal rights violations here. Thank you for the information about Warwick castle, I deeply regret to have annoyed you, there's no need to assume anything on this page should actually be taken seriously, it's all in good fun. Please, have a look at my other posts and you'll get an idea of the ridiculousness of it all.
ReplyDeleteI believe this matter must be settled in the age old tradition of bear to bear combat. Any "real" student of "history" would understand this "traditional" means of settling "conflict".
ReplyDeleteMay the best and most historically accurate bear win.